Making the Team
by My Animated Imagination
Summary: Spongebob and Patrick decide to try out for the Bikini Bottom Football team. What could possibly go wrong? This story is on HIATUS until futher notice.
1. Chapter 1

Patrick Star burst through the front doors of the Krusty Krab, flailing his arms and waving a brightly colored flyer.

"Spongebob, Spongebob!" he yelled, falling on his face onto the green wood below.

"What do you want Patrick, I can't really talk during my shift!" Spongebob said, quickly slipping out of the kitchen.

"Check out this flyer I found!" Patrick said.

"What does it say?" Spongebob asked. Patrick looked at it puzzlingly.

"I don't know." He said. "I was hoping you could tell me. I just brought it because it shows a picture of a brown egg on it!" he said. Spongebob took the flyer from him. He cleared his throat and began his "TV announcer" voice.

"Hey You!" he began.

"Me?" Patrick asked.

"Yes you!" he continued.

"Ok." Patrick said.

"Have you ever wanted to be admired by thousands of people you don't know?" Spongebob read.

"Only every day of my life!" Patrick said.

"Well then tryout for the Bikini Bottom Torpedoes football team! Open tryouts all next week. Be there or be square!" Spongebob said, reverting back to his normal voice. "And Patrick, that's a football, not a brown egg." Patrick was standing in awe.

"Spongebob! We should totally try out for the football team!" he shrieked like a girl. Squidward walked over, his hands on his hips.

"Patrick, football is a game for civilized men, not 8-year old girls!" he said.

"Aww…." Said a little girl, walking away sadly.

"Squidward? You want to be on the football team?" Spongebob asked in shock.

"Well there has to be at least 1 intelligent person on the team!" Squidward said.

"Hey I'm very intelligement!" Patrick said.

"I mean, just think about it!" Squidward said. Squidward imagined thousands of girls chanting his name and going crazy for him. Spongebob imagined fish from everywhere envying him. Patrick imagined a fighter plane crashing into the ocean.

"Spongebob, we should start training right away!" Patrick said, whisking him away.

"But wait, there are still patties on the grill!" Spongebob shrieked, being pulled out the door. Squidward chuckled.

"Nincompoops! They're going to get hurt trying to "work out!" he said. "I'm going to call my very own personal trainer to help me train!" Squidward said, pulling a phone out of thin air and dialing a number.

"Wait!" came a call from Mr. Krabs' office. "Do I smell burning!?" At that, smoke poured out of the kitchen, and everyone in the Krusty Krab sprinted out of the restaurant.


	2. Chapter 2

Spongebob and Patrick were standing behind Spongebob's house, wearing sweat suits and headbands.

"OK Patrick, if we want to have a chance of making the taem, we've got to get in top physical condition!" Spongebob said. "And that's why I ordered this obstacle course kit, it has the electrical equipment to determine the speed we're going, the overall course speed, climb speed, crawl speed, and it will give us an overall fitness rating at the end." He said.

"Well let's get to it!" Patrick said.

"Uh.. Patrick.." Spongebob began.

"Yeah Spongebob?" Patrick replied.

"We still need to put it together he said, gesturing to the array of various pieces laid out on the ground.

"But it'll take forever to put that all together!" Patrick said.

"That's where you are wrong Patrick!" Spongebob said, walking over to a large stereo and putting in a disc labeled, "Stadium Tunes". The music started playing loudly, motivating Spongebob and Patrick to build the obstacle course in about an hour.

When it was finally finished, it stretched half a mile, featuring walls, nets, ladders, hurdles, and even some high-tech surprises. Spongebob and Patrick stood at the starting line, admiring their work.

"Wow, we did great."

"Yeah we did."

"Patrick, put the music in, I'm going to go for it." Spongebob said dramatically.

"Are you sure buddy?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah, just do it." Spongebob said, taking his position at the starting line. Patrick put the music in and pressed "play". He then walked over to the controls of the performance-tracking gadgets.

"On my signal, Ready… Set… Go!" Patrick yelled, starting the timer. Spongebob sprinted straight, right into a dark tunnel. He kept running until the path slightly narrowed., The more he went, the narrower the path got. Eventually he was balancing on one toe from each foot. He leaped over a large gap, and landed on a wider path. He kept running until the "cave" ended, and he was at the foot of a giant rock wall. He reached to grab one of the handholds, but it crumbled and fell to the ground. He carefully put his foot on one, and reached up for another. He climbed this way until he was a few precious feet from the top. He grabbed for the top handhold, and it crumbled in his fingers. He slipped and fell down toward the bottom of the wall until he caught a handhold. He slowly put his feet on 2 more, and climbed to the top, testing each one before grabbing it. He leaped over the wall and started freefalling. He gasped when he saw a group of dangerously sharp spikes at the bottom, with only a small gap for landing. He curled up into a tiny ball, and landed into the gap. He carefully maneuvered around the spikes until he was on solid ground. He ran for about 100 feet before the path was completely blocked, except for a very small tunnel at his feet. He dove to the ground and crawled through sliding to avoid small rocks falling from above. He eventually reached the end, and continued to run, only to find that boulders were being fired from small cannons, using pressurized air. He dodged the impending boulders, leaping over some and diving under others. When he got to the end, there was a small doorway that he ran through, the curved around. He followed it until, he was at the home stretch. He sprinted, gasping for air as he saw the finish line. He kept running until his feet came out from under him. He had tripped over a small rock! He tried to get up, but couldn't find the strength. He agonizingly crawled the last ten feet to the finish line. He got up right after he crossed the tape.

"OK Patrick, what's my final score?" he asked. He looked around, band it was pitch dark. He looked at his watch, which read "1:00 AM". He then noticed that Patrick was asleep at the controls.

"Patrick!" he said, waking him up.

"Please don't eat me gorilla!" Patrick yelled, awaking with a start. "Oh, Spongebob, it's you." He said, catching his breath. Patrick stopped the timer.

"It says here that it took you 6 hours and 49 minutes to finish the course." Patrick said. "Which puts you at a fitness score of -4, and your overall fitness rating is "Total Whimp". It also says that the climb and crawl speeds were "Too large to measure" Wow, you must have done really good!" Patrick said. "OK, me next!" he said. Spongebob sighed as he started the timer, and watched Patrick race off. He fell asleep shortly after, and awoke to Patrick asking what his score was. Spongebob read all the gauges, but they just had letters. When unscrambled, they meant that Patrick finished the course in half an hour, and that no speeds could be recorded because he just broke through everything. His final fitness rating was, "Fullback". Spongebob's jaw dropped. All was silent for a few seconds.

"Well Spongebob, it's getting late, I'm going to to bed so I'm not tired for tryouts tomorrow!" Patrick said, walking away. Spongebob remained there, speechless.


	3. Chapter 3

Spongebob burst out of his pineapple wearing a blue and green football jersey and sweatpants. It was the day of the tryouts and he was ready! He growled menacingly a few times to prepare himself, and then headed off down the road toward Bikini Bottom Sports Coliseum. A few moments later, Patrick climbed out of his rock, sprouting the same Bikini Bottom Torpedoes practice jersey and began walking silently toward the stadium. A few minutes after that, Squidward emerged from his Easter Island Head wearing a pair of sports shades, the practice Jersey, sweats, and a Bikini Bottom Torpedoes hat. He too walked toward the stadium, his head in the clouds.

At the stadium, hundreds of fish from Bikini Bottom lined up on the football field to tryout for the team. They were all doing various stretches and warm-ups waiting for the instructor to get out of the locker room. All of a sudden, Sandy walked in and stood next to Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward.

"Sandy! You decided to try out for the football team?" Spongebob asked surprised. "But Squidward said football was for civilized men, not 8-year old girls!"

The same little girl from before left the stadium without a word.

"Sure I am Spongebob!" Sandy answered. "I'm tougher than most of the men here!"

"Sandy, for once I'm actually glad to see you. At least there's someone else here with intelligence, and not just brute strength!" Squidward said.

"Same to you Squidward! What position are you trying out for?"

"I'm planning on being a receiver. With my adhesive suction cups, it's almost impossible for me to drop a pass!" he said, demonstrating the adhesiveness by sticking his fins together.

"Cool, I'm going to be a quarterback myself, my arm's in good condition from karate!" Sandy said. Just as Squidward was nodding his approval, the coach came out of the locker room. He was a rather portly orange fish wearing a green and blue polo shirt and a Torpedoes cap.

"Are you girls warmed up yet?" he asked in a raspy voice. "Give me a lap around the field!" he shouted, blowing his whistle. The fish grumbled and then began to run the perimeter of the field. Sandy was at the very front, and jogging backwards! Spongebob was at the very back, behind even Patrick! As the fish finished, several were panting heavily, especially Spongebob. Sandy wasn't breaking a sweat.

"That was pitiful! Do it again!" yelled the coach. The players did it again with nearly the exact same results.

"That's a little better." The coach grumbled. "Now, break into positions! Receivers and backs with coach Peterson, Quarterbacks with me, and linemen with coach Smith, go!" he yelled, gesturing to the coaches as he called them by name. Squidward and Patrick went with the backs while Sandy and Spongebob went with the Quarterbacks. Around 25 fish went with the quarterback group.

"I just want to see your best stuff." The coach said. "I know you will perform differently in full pads, but we will decide on who will make the team today. We _will _cut at least 50 players today, and we'll only have 3 Quarterbacks. All of you still think you can be one of those 3?"

No fish backed out.

"Ok then, first things first. I want to see how far each of you can throw, but if you throw inaccurately here I'll tell you right now that you will not be on this team! Ok, who wants to go first?"

Sandy was the only one besides Spongebob who raised their hand.

"OK, you 2 will be first!" spat the coach, handing each a football. You go first." The coah gestured to Sandy.

Sandy dropped back as if she were taking a snap, and chucked the ball the length of the field and more, and right on the money with accuracy. Everyone was amazed.

"If you perform that well the rest of the day, you'll be our starter." The coach sputtered. "Ok, show me your stuff." The coach gestured to Spongebob. Spongebob tried to imitate Sandy's drop back, but failed miserably. Then he threw the ball forward, and it went about 5 yards. The rest of the players broke out laughing.

"At least he was accurate!" one yelled. Spongebob bowed his head in sadness. Sadly, nearly the entire tryouts went like this for Spongebob. The groups practiced for a few hours, and then met back in the center.

"Ok, you all did great today, and we have some decent athletes here, but unfortunately, we have to cut at least half of you. I'll read off the positions of the projected starters first, and then of those who made the team, but haven't yet shown us what we need to see. I'd like to start off with our starting Quarterback. This is the only position in which we know for sure who will start, and I'll give all of you a hint, it starts with an 'S'" the coach said. Spongebob began to get excited. He thought the coach must have seen his potential. Several hopefuls sadly stood and left the dome. Their names started with other letters, apparently.

"The starting Quarterback will be Sandy Cheeks!" the coach said. Sandy and Spongebob both stood up.

"Well thank you but-" Spongebob started before realizing he hadn't made it. He sat down embarrassed.

"Oh don't worry, we'll give you a spot too!" the coach said to Spongebob. Spongebob stood up again.

"Head Cheerleader!" the coach spat, causing a roar of laughter to come up from the rest of the players. Spongebob bowed his head yet again, and sat back down.

"No, but you can be the mascot if you want to." The coach shrugged, holding in another fit of laughter. Spongebob accepted it sadly. The coach read off the rest of the names, and both Patrick and Squidward made the starting squad, Squidward as a receiver and Patrick as a Half Back.


End file.
